My health has never been in superb condition since the day I was born. Being a premature baby, Mummy stomached much anxiety and heartache when I suffered from Jaundice and went through blood transfusion when I stepped into this world. It certainly doesn't help that I had a heart operation in secondary school due to a hole in my heart which actually existed since birth. I remembered visiting clinics regularly and taking medicine every other week. My legs got wobbly easily during my toddler years and I was excused from school's physical fitness test during my teenage years. It has been an arduous quarter of a century and I am really grateful for Mummy's endless care, concern and love.

Till date, I am much better now though not exactly in athelete's health. I learn to take good care of myself. It may seem weird to friends around me when I go for regular check ups twice a year but it is really crucial for me to ensure that I am not having some hidden illness. Daily consumption of supplements and the monthly bird nest's soups or various herbal soups from Mummy has attributed much to my better well-being till date.

Due to the nature of my work, my voice is essential as both partners and customers contact me directly. I feel really handicapped when I am voiceless, as per the few occasions so far. Whenever I got into office, work is continuous such that I do not even have time to take a sip of water. Now, I am learning to drink more water now. And recently, I am drinking Noni Juice daily.

Noni is known for treating a variety of health problems which include; alleviating pain, anticancer (inhibiting growth of tumors& pre cancer function) and as an antibacterial (protecting against heart damage and digestive problems). It is reported to lower high blood pressure and gives clarity of mind while increasing a feeling of well being, aiding depression symptoms and increasing body energy. Remarkably, Noni is also known to act as an anti-inflammatory (arthritis) and strengthens weak bones and ligaments. It has an antihistaminic agent (allergies) and has benefited people who have endured strokes, kidney problems, sleeping problems, diabetes types 1 & 2 (lowering blood sugar), obesity, addictive tendency, skin disorders, asthma, viral infections, sinusitis, colds and stress.

My own testimony from taking Noni will be the reduced sore throat frequency. I used to get sore throat almost everyday but is so much better now. As for Mummy, it has helped to reduce her blood glucose level. Yes Mummy is diabetic and it is hereditary. It probably means that I may get diabetics too when I grow older. Mummy's siblings got diabetes in their 30s but Mummy got into this condition in her late 40s. The doctor did mention that even if one takes care, an hereditary illness will still come, but at a later age. In fact, Mummy hates sweet stuff and everyone was so shocked upon learning that she is diabetic. Now, she has to be more careful in what she eats, especially starchy food such as rice. This is because starch, when broken down is actually glucose, which must be at a low level for a diabetic patient. I know Mummy misses eating her favourite fruits such as oranges and bananas but she refrains. I do hope that I will not develope diabetes even at an older age. I have seen how weak Mummy is now and it really pains me so. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Basically, health is really an important aspect of our lives which we should never neglect. Many of my friends tell me that I am still young and should not fuss over health supplements or medical check ups. Well, I guess it does not hurt to be safe rather than sorry. With society's longer working hours and also working professionals' poor eating habits, our health is really at risk. Hence, it is up to us to watch our health and I can only see benefit in starting young, not that I am so young anymore. In any case, health matters and we must never disregard it!

I seem to be on a Gucci craze lately. After getting myself a Gucci wallet from the Classic collection and a Boston Bag from the Charm collection last month, am now lemming for the following:

I woke up the next morning with a heavy head. Was kinda stoned at work and when he called during lunch time, I was almost having dementia and paused for a moment before recalling him as the guy who sent me home the night before. He asked to meet me at night. I said no as I had a gathering with my JC classmates that evening. I remembered him repeating, "Please. All I ask is an opportunity."


I almost wanted to yell at him. What was his problem man. I really had to meet my friends tonight and not giving him excuses. "I really got to meet up with some ex-classmates tonight," I explained patiently, "but perhaps we can have coffee after that." He agreed and hung up. But that night after dinner with the ladies, I was very tired and merely sms-ed him that I would like to head home to sleep. He seemed ok in his reply.

For the next few days, we exchanged short sms-es, phone chats and he added me on ICQ where we exchanged some brief conversations. It was through one of the ICQ chats that I found out he was American and had only been in Singapore since Septemeber. He shared with me about life in San Francisco and the few years where he was based in Sydney. It was interesting. Unfortunately, we never got to meet up as he left for Korea after a week and came back after 1.5 months. We exchanged emails and phone calls daily during the time he was away.

When he got back in early January, we hung out and met up almost everyday. I actually enjoyed being with him. Having been single for so long, I sorta got annoyed if I were to meet the same guy more than once a week. To think I actually looked forward to meeting him. It was not long before I realised that I was really fond of him. I would say he shared the same sentiments too.

However, I guess life does not always turn out the way we want it and many a time, timing plays a really important role when it comes to starting a relationship. After hanging out for drinks on a Saturday night, I received a phone call from him on Sunday morning when he was at the airport. He told me that he needed to go Korea again. For a month. He promised to be back in a month. And I waited. A month passed. He never returned. He called and emailed everyday but he just could not leave Korea as the project was still in its pipeline. Another month passed and he still could not return. I was disappointed and I grew really tired of yearning for the daily phone calls and emails. Most importantly, I felt that he had not kept his promise. I was disappointed.

He finally returned in April. 2 months late, or so he said. We tried to meet up but our timing clashed and suddenly one week later, he was back in Korea. He did not inform me and apologised profusely over email. The daily long distance emails and phone calls regiment started once more. I was truly saddened that he chose to leave again though he kept saying he did not have a choice. I always believe that everyone has a choice and he made his by choosing this company. Sigh.

After another 2 months, he came back in June. We met up briefly for dinner and it felt kind of strange. After that I received a phone call from him asking me to go to Burma with him for a vacation as he would be joining his friends there. It was too sudden and I could not leave my work. He left to join his friends. We did not meet up at all. We exchanged emails once again and though he was water rafting and going through all sorts of adventure with his peers in Burma, he tried to email me whenever he could from some cyber cafe there. And perhaps the trip made him feel that we were both wasting each other, his emails got fewer and finally after another 2 months, I emailed to ask if he was back in Singapore. He replied that he was but did not want to meet me. All email correspondence stopped after that. Perhaps it was for the better and I was seeing someone else too.

Somehow, the emails and phone calls started once more in September. It was dragging for so long. Like a roller coaster ride. He got called back to Korea again then and I had missed chatting with him so much. He has always been really sweet and sensitive and most importantly, he gives really impartial advices whenever I ask him. He is just like my confidant and lending me a shoulder to lean on. He cheered me up when I was down and would crack jokes to make me laugh when I was despondent. The immense care and concern he had showered me was endless.

Eventually he returned in December and it had been more than a year since we met. Time really flew and it had been a real bumpy journey for both of us. We met twice during that one week and off he left for Korea again. It was a sudden decision too and when he called me, he was transiting in Japan. Honestly, I was devastated. I did not know what was wrong with this man, or myself for that matter.

When 2006 came, my New Year resolution was to forget him. He told me he would be back after 2 months. I did not even bother to think anymore. The emails and calls started for the umpteenth time. I no longer yearned for the calls and emails though I still missed chatting with him. He did not return after 2 months, but half a year later.

Yes, we met about 3 weeks ago. He has aged so much since we last met. Work and fatigue have really exhausted him. He was haggard and looked really weary. That night, he had a meeting till 10pm but he looked me up at Zouk. Phyllis saw him too and even Phyllis could not recognise him. The first time I met him was also the first time Phyllis met him. Been 1.5 year and this time frame has worn him down. My heart was heavy and was really saddened by what this job has done to him. We chatted for a while and I casually mentioned that he would never be able to get involved in any relationship until he got himself stablised. He agreed too.

We parted soon after and had intention to meet the next day after his dinner with clients. Unfortunately, I was tied up the next day and we did not meet up. We did not contact till 2 days later when he called and told me that work was getting complicated. I pressed him and asked if he got to go back Korea again but he did not want to answer me. He answered in forlorn that he would tell me when he was more stable emotionally. He admitted then that he felt really disoriented and could not think properly. He met his colleagues to chill out that night and sms-ed me after that that he felt better. And that was the last time I heard from him.

I tried calling him a few times after that and sms-ed twice but to no avail. I believe that he probably got forced back to Korea again and did not know how to break the news to me once more. I guess it was not easy for him too, having to disappoint someone repeatedly after the endless promises made. Perhaps it is better this way. He need not feel bad that he actually made empty promises anymore. I realise that men usually avoid problems when they are not within control. I do not blame him and will never blame him. How can I blame someone who really tries his best yet cannot take control of his life? He mentioned before that he believed in destiny. Perhaps this is his destiny.

I felt sad. The doldrums in me were overwhelming. And I really hope that all is well with him. He has been as persistent and determined as can be. I guess it is time to end. This unique yet ambiguous relationship. He has had a special place in my heart and though everything has come to a closure, the memories will remain, locked in a special corner of my heart.

Thank you, Ken. For everything.

It was really crowded and because it was Ladies' Night, there was quite an array of girls around. Serene, Annie, Phyllis, Christine and I hovered at a corner of the dance floor and moved our bodies to the rhythmic tempo.

Halfway through, I was thirsty and got annoyed at some guy who was trying to hit on me. I excused myself and crept alone to the bar counter for a Lychee Martini. Totally immensed into the music, my body was swaying to the music even while waiting for my drink. Just then, I felt a presence and when I looked right, our eyes met. He grinned at me sheepishly but I merely turned away and continued dancing.

He inched closer and said hi. I was surprised. Was not sure why but he looked sort of out of place at the club. I shrugged and smiled politely before scurrying off to look for the girls. He followed behind me and when I joined my friends back at the dance floor, he attemped to dance with us. I was slightly amused and Phyllis talked to him a little. I could not remember the details next but I recalled making small talk with him.

Soon, it was time to go home. Annie, Serene and myself intended to share a cab and all 3 of us were a little tipsy. Yeah, tipsy but not drunk. He offered to send us back in a cab and Phyllis was just telling him that he would entrust us to him and made the poor guy promised to take care of us.

Our cab was stopped by the police road block and all of us were asked to present our identity cards. He did not have and I could see panic crossing his face. Serene was yelling at the police officer and asking why they stopped us. He just kept repeating that he did not bring his passport along. At that juncture, I was just thinking to myself what the hell was this guy doing and why didn't he have an identity card.

Anyway, I linked my arm around his and uttered firmly, "He is my friend but not local. So leave him alone. And on what basis do you have to stop us?" The police officer was startled at my reply and eventually allowed us to leave. He looked so relieved when the cab drove off the road block venue! I slept in the cab and soon, we dropped Annie then Serene off. When I finally reached my place, I felt so uncomfortable that I just sat at the void deck not moving. About an hour passed and he was just beside me asking me if I was alright and if I needed to go somewhere to get a hot drink. I just kept shaking my head.

Finally when the alcohol in me worn off, I felt more comfortable and headed for the elevator. He followed me. I smiled and asked for his name. Ken, he said. He held me to my door and when at my doorstep, I asked cheekily, "Why don't you come in?"

He looked so shocked and told me that I was drunk and that I did not mean it. Wanting to see his reaction, I insisted for him to come in and wanted him to spend the night with me. I had expected him to agree, just like any other man. But to my disbelief, he just shook his head and said, "You should rest. Let's talk tomorrow."

As he headed for the staircase, I muttered, "Good night Ken," and closed my door.

So that was how we met for the first time. On 17 November 2004. And he left me with a deep impression.

Been a long time since I last blogged and lotsa to update. Work has been busy as usual and that leaves me less time for myself. I have been catching up with my friends quite a bit of late though. Will be meeting Jenny for dinner and partying at ButterFactory and LiquidRoom. Hmm, that is if I can make it. Not sure why but I suddenly became voiceless on Wednesday morning and though it is Friday now, I still can't talk.

When I was in office yesterday and today, my colleagues were all commenting that my voice was so hoarse. Even when I talked to partners on phone, they kept asking me what was wrong. Sure hope my throat will improve by tomorrow! Anyway, better zoom into my updates!


Partying
I have been quite a retro freak of late. It so happens that Charmaine loves retro and we have been going Zouk for the last few Wednesdays. Yes, I know I am a little old for MAMBO JUMBO but we just dig the music. It is really fun when you can be partying with someone who can dance to the same genre of music as yourself. ButterFactory and LiquidRoom tomorrow will be more Hip Hop and R&B. A nice change and I can once again groove to the music. Been a while since I went partying with R&B lovers. In fact, I sorta like Hip Hop and R&B too. Actually, I realise that I can dance to most music, except techno. So, Music Underground is a No-No for me!


Job Confirmation
I had my Confirmation Review last Friday with 2 managers. 6 months passed so quickly. And yes, they will confirm me but I sure hope that I get a nice salary adjustment, especially when I have been performing to my best. Actually was a little disappointed when Bernard pointed out to me my overall grading. I merely exceeded their expectations by a little, not exactly above expectations though. Nevertheless, the review is good as they listed down my next 1 year objectives and I look forward to fulfilling them. Hopefully better than expected! With a new marketing colleague Eugene on board, I hope to be able to work with him and Charmaine to achieve better production and manage our accounts better.


Bangkok in July
After much procrastination, I finally booked my air tickets and accomodation to Bangkok from 22 - 25 July 2006. Will be going there with Mummy. Main aim is to go there and pray to the 4-Faced Buddha near World Trade Centre. Well, last November when I went Bangkok, I had prayed for a job switch as I felt quite stagnant in my previous job. I promised to go back in 2006 to pray if I get what I want. And after my Bangkok trip, I was called for so many interviews and finaly started my current job in mid December. So, in due respect, I will go back to pray, at the same time can do some shopping there. I need this break too. Been kinda stretched at work. Am missing Bangkok Tom Yum Soup already!


Team Building Trip
July is certainly full of activities. My boss is planning for a team building trip to Desaru for the whole department. 7 - 9 July. Will probably leave on Friday night after work then back on Monday. Think it will be quite fun though tiring. Team building games are always challenging and we got to learn to trust our team mates. Perhaps I should really shed some weight now in case my team mates got to carry me over a sea of fire or water during any of the game session!


Marketing Event
Did I just mention that July is a happening month? Well, Charmaine will be organising an event for the sales persons from a major account. Venue yet to be confirmed but date is fixed on 21 July, a day before my Bangkok trip! There will be awards giving, food, drinks, ktv and also door gifts. Hope it is a success! And I should also start planning for my event from an account I am handling. Will need to tabulate the contest results first then can plan the event. Similar to Charmaine's but mine is a smaller scale as the number of sales persons is fewer too. I better start working out the contest results soon man!


Great Singapore Sale
The GSS started officially on 27 May and I have purchased some tops and bags till date. Find my wardrobe getting boring and want a change. As I hardly wear suits to work nowadays, I find my office attire too casual for my own taste. Will probably shop again this weekend!